Hi Ruth, I'm at my wits end with my 8 year old son. He has great marks at school...

..., but becomes extremely defiant and disruptive and does not respect his teachers. He feels that he is the greatest in whatever he does and that no one else is as good as him. We have him in therapeutic therapy one a week, but to no avail, this is not working. Please Help. I was hoping that the Bach Therapy (Holly or Vine) will help. Thanks again

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Dear Maria, Bach flowers combined with psychotherapy is a good combination. The essences speed up therapeutic processes and enable making behavioral changes more easily.

The main essence suitable for your son is indeed Vine, which is given in order to channel a sense of self-righteousness and tyranny into a place of leadership, charisma, and wisdom. Vine will help your son to express his intelligence via his behavior.

Another important essence for your son would be Rock Water, which will help to "soften" him and his strident positions, and to understand that others may also be smart or right, and that this does not diminish his own intelligence or successes. If your son is having social difficulties stemming from his sense of being the best, it’s worth adding Water Violet, which will open him up to being friends and restore his proportions in his self-image

You should also add Holly into the compound if your son expresses aggression, anger, and difficult-to-manage behaviors.

In addition, as I've recommended to other mothers, you should also take a Bach Flower essence. When our children arouse in us anger and helplessness, a vicious circle of anger and frustration can be created in our relationships with them.

The vicious circle works like this: The child does something (a stimulus), the parent reacts angrily, the child reacts with anger, the parent's anger increases, and so forth.

In order to counteract this pattern, you should take an essence that has the following functions:

1. Breaking the destructive cycle

2. Helping you cope with your own difficulties in handling your son

3. Separating you from your son, and transforming you into partners for success

4. Transforming you into a positive role model, specifically in the area of taking responsibility for the situation

5. Showing him that you're serious and resolute in your desire to change the situation, and are ready to invest an effort to do so Wishing you success and peace of mind, Ruth